"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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