I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
