Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
