I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
