I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
