You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
