Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
