she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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