Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
