I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
