Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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