Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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