when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
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