i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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