nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
