apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
