Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
