There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
