Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
