His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
