He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
