Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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