I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
