I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
