my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
being pregnant is like rehab
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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