I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
