all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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