i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
