when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
