Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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