I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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