everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
