He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
