Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
