we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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