That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
