let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize