escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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