i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
