"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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