No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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