we're blogging at a bar
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
false alarm, still single
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
