this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
