Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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