I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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