We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
