my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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