please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
