everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
