i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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