i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
