I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
