how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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