Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
