She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
