put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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