Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
