Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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