Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
