I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
