K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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