idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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