Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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