I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Your penis caused this!
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