so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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