this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize