its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
