that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
