What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
