Well douche your snatch and let's go!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
